“Where are they?” one might ask. While in the last entry I mentioned about children in other cultures and some problems I would have, I want to write something about children in Germany now. But it is not always easy to find them here. Unless there is a special celebration for children I hardly see them. But perhaps this has nothing to do especially with Germany. Many other countries (particularly in the fist world) suffer from the same problem, the over-ageing of society.

But what could draw attention is how children look like here, or in other words what their parents make out of them. Unlike in many other countries, childhood in Germany is very long. Actually I can also understand why nobody really wants to become adult. Children here don’t have to work, they can have everything though, they are protected by the law and the state provides them with health- and social care. However, children in Germany are dressed like young adults.

My foreign guest, S. from the Republic of China, noticed about that. Since then I had an eye on it, too. Amazing how many four-year-old girls wear earrings and how many little girls, below the age of puberty, are dressed up with clothes (in kids size though) which usually adult women or girls would wear, if you know what I mean. In my childhood I wore Mickey Mouse and Goofy on many things (yea, we can argue about taste…) but nowadays I would only read famous brands on kids clothing (despite the fact that many of those are faked). For boys you can even buy mini-suits with lacquer shoes and everything. But of course it does not count what you can buy but what you see on the streets. And so it is more the hip-hop children (not teenagers!) who come into my mind.

Another thing, don’t be surprised when you come into a German village and the kids greet you there. They don’t want candy but are educated to be nice and friendly, even to foreigners. But a change can be observed also there. Children can be mean, and even to adults. For example they take two seats in the bus and reject to give one to another passenger when being asked or at least make a face. (This did not only happen to S. but also to me for many times.) So, dear tourist, don’t be shocked ;-)

Like I said, as a German I would perhaps have problems with children in different cultures. But I am sure that people from different cultures would have problems with our children too.

And so we met for the last time. Next week there are vacations and no classes anymore. But it is also the time of final exams, assignments and meetings with professors to discuss research paper topics.

Unfortunately I had to be in such a meeting and therefore missed the beginning of the final class. I tumbled into the middle of an exercise. I didn’t know either the task of the exercise or the topic of class. So I peeped at my neighbour’s. But I only could catch the headline: “Mediation”. We had already a lesson about it and I was not sure if it was the note sheet for this lesson. Without thinking more about it I asked about the task.

In groups of three people we got two sheets of paper with a short description of an intercultural conflict situation on each. I felt like the third wheel on the wagon in the group (well, actually I should say like the “forth” wheel because there were already three). The task in my group was solved already and I only had a short glance at the descriptions before the evaluation followed. Now, at home, I can look them up again in the ded-folder (p.41ff).

For example one of the descriptions was:

You are sitting in a restaurant for dinner. At the neighbour table you see how a boy, who is going from table to table, is getting the bones from another guest’s plate. Now he comes to you.

The task was to exchange spontaneous reactions if this would happen to someone in the group; then to discuss about as many reasons as possible for the behaviour of the other person (in this example the boy); and finally to speak about how you would react in this situation and solve the problem.

I decided to describe this example because it is the one where I would have the most problems with. The first thing which would make me feel uneasy is the confrontation of poor and rich. My first association to that picture is that the boy must be hungry and collects the bones hoping to find meat rests on them. Of course there are other possibilities. He might be a waiter who is only removing the leftovers from the plates of the guests. But my first thoughts are gliding into the poor-rich corner.

Second, what makes the situation even worse is that a child who has to beg or to work is involved. Something like this is not liked to be seen in Germany/Europe. Probably this has something to do with our “humanistic education” here, I wonder. In other cultures it might be normal for children to work and they wouldn’t even complain. Maybe everybody at the neighbour tables would give something to the child but for me it would be strange though. In some real-life situations I found that I have a strange way of “justice”-thinking (but I know that I am not the only European with that problem):

“If I help one, I have to help all; but I can not help all.” -> Conclusion: “So I help none.”

And this “conclusion” then is like a blockade. I wouldn’t give bones to the boy. On the other hand, the “group pressure” could have an effect on me too. Then I would give the bones to the boy because everybody does.

A girl in the course said the example reminds her on show cleaners. And I could pretty well empathize with her. In several countries children offer this service for little money (for us “little money”) but support their family with it. I never had my shoes cleaned because (like she said) I couldn’t accept the fact that a child is working for me.

But on the other side one shouldn’t think too much. First, maybe the native children wouldn’t expect tourists to understand this behaviour and wouldn’t expect to get bones from them anyway. Second, native residents don’t behave always the same way either. Although in other countries there are shoe cleaners and begging children, I have also seen natives sending them away. Probably one has to find the golden path oneself. It is normal to feel insecure at first but when dealing with poverty more often one would get a “feeling” for it (I hope).

I have not had many personal experiences with poverty and children so far. But one problem is that sometimes I feel scared. Or, in other words, I wonder how they see me: the big rich man from the West? I think the only way to find out is to talk with them. But this is not so easy. I am biased and also wonder if they are biased. A huge barrier has to be overcome, especially when being not familiar with how to communication with the other culture.

Another factor might be the age of the children. I don’t know if it is maybe easier to talk to smaller children. At least I don’t imply them ulterior thoughts but suppose everything is honest.

No matter how, it is always better to have somebody who is familiar with country and people around. Thus, contact to people can be established much easier and misunderstandings, misinterpretations or biases be avoided.

Incredible how funny the world is. -And incredible that there even exists a study about the funniest jokes in the world which is not meant as a joke.

Over years researchers of the University of Herfordshire have collected jokes sent via email from all over the world. At the end they knew the most frequently told joke in each country. If you want to read some of them go to the official webpage of the project: www.laughlab.co.uk

And if you have £4.79 plus some money for the shipping left, you can even order the book at amazon.

Finally there was a lesson which can be titled like this. We were playing for almost the whole time. Christin had developed a simple dice game. To play it, our course was split into a few groups with one member per group having the game instruction. It was not allowed to talk. The game leader of each group read the instructions aloud. Then the game started. Unfortunately she read pretty fast, or maybe my brain is just too slow that I didn’t understand completely how the game has to be played. I only knew that each player in my group has three tries and then has to pass the two dices on. The game leader took notes of the player’s scores. After some time the course leader picked out some people in the groups who had to interchange with other groups. I was among them.

My first idea was that the game instructions must be different from group to group. – Or else, what sense shall the game make? So I knew that there was something different in the other group but I didn’t know what. I took a seat and it was already my turn. I only had a brief glimpse at my neighbour’s and her way to dice. She did it only for once – the first difference maybe. So I did it also only for once. (In the back of my mind I thought: “What if the rules are that only every second player must dice for once?!”) The other difference was that the dices were passed on counter clockwise. Other differences I did not find but was uncertain if this really was all. (In my family we sometimes played with dices too and then from time to time we argued in which direction to pass the dice on. So I didn’t take it as a necessarily specific change in the rules, but only as something incidentally.)

The game continued and it seems I was not so wrong with guessing the rules. In the end I even won a round. The next round we couldn’t finish (unfortunately) because our prof asked us to go back to our initial position. Just as (not without pride) I told my dicing result to a friend, the teacher called me up to give my assessment of the exercise. I was a little bit surprised and had not evaluated it for myself yet. Therefore I probably gave an unsatisfying answer…

Of course this exercise was transferred to intercultural situations. What happens when you come into a new surrounding where you don’t understand the rules? And what do the others think about a “stranger” in their rows? Is the “stranger” disturbing or will they help him to integrate?

The change between my groups was not that strong I think. But others had more problems with understanding the “new” rules. And this also led to misinterpretations. There was for example a girl who cheated because all the others in her group diced a six. So she thought she would be out if she has no six. Others tried to explain the rules to their new member through gestures.

All in all I think this game helped to get aware of social and psychological processes in intercultural contexts. The only difference is that real intercultural situations are far more complex. Maybe it is even impossible to find out all the new rules in the other culture. And perhaps we will only familiarize with a small part of them. And because of this complexity it will be impossible to prepare for those new rules or all possible eventualities.

After this exercise we should hear a text, actually a letter, about a German development assistant in the Sahel. At the end of the read out we should finish the story from the perspective of one of the characters in the text. The German development assistant should help growing plants in a village. He has an interpreter of English to the African dialect who shall help him to negotiate with the elder of the village. One day there are goats on his plantation and eat all the small plants. He gets very angry and becomes loud in front of the elder of the village who seems not to understand him. [See the full text in the ded-folder.]

I needed several minutes to think about which perspective to choose. Probably the prof would expect us to show empathy for one of the African characters. But I didn’t. I took the guy the letter was addressed to. My story ended with that the German guy in the Sahel has vanished and his German friend (the letter recipient) decides to find him. At the end of the lesson we only compared our story-endings.

Somehow I was glad being out of that room. It was very hot and there are no air-conditions in our university. But it shall become slightly cooler. Maybe it will be next week when there is the last class for this semester.

When you are a German, the article introduced here, from the Spanish newspaper El Mundo, has something to do with empathy and changing one's perspective, too. (If you want to read it some knowledge of Spanish is of advantage...) They list several things which for many Germans are indeed already "given".
For example that even in public toilets men have sit. (I was surprised about that, haven't seen it myself yet and only know it from home *g*) Or..., people here even clean their garbage. For example if you had yoghurt, don't just throw the carton away but first wash it up! Another speciality mentioned are those endless German words: "Fussballweltmeisterschaftsschiedrichterpfeifenreinigungstuch", "Fussballweltmeisterschaftseröffnungsspliel" (just to name a few). Okay, the Spanish would probably use every single word and link them with de (Partido de apertura del Mundial de fútbol; ...de...de...de...de... ;-)

Fort more differences between Germany and Spain check out the page.

...And so I start my second part. I think in future I should publish an own posting on each remarkable event or experience. Well, now I have my computer back and writing / posting things will be easier again. And thats also the reason why I now can add pictures.

There is summer now and people like to sit in their gardens. But it is not only the barbeque season. Garden gnomes inhabit almost every green private spot in Germany. You find them in flower pots, beds, and front yards. Some people really like it excessive. My mother has got a very small one. It was only a gimmick for buying a flower pot. S. discovered it and was very happy. She said Germany is known for the garden gnomes. Indeed, I cant remember having seen it in door yards in other countries. Instead, they occur in foreign movies when Germany shall be presented cliché-like. (I dont remember a specific movie now but hope you believe me though ;o)



The WDR has got an interesting article about the history of the garden gnome. A German is said to have made the first garden gnome in 1872 out of terracotta. Probably his inspiration was American Christmas drawings (we remember: the Santa Claus with his white beard and red coat was actually created by Coca Cola Imagine they had put it under copyright and would take every time for example $0.50 for using the image! They wouldnt need to produce Cola anymore *g*). A few years later his idea became commercial and had worldwide success. During the cold war during the 50s and 60s they were more spread in West Germany. In East Germany from 1948-1952 they were even forbidden.

Well, anyway S. had her fun, took plenty of pictures of the gnome in all situations of life (yes, this movie I remember: Le fabuleux destin dAmelie Boulain). She asked me if she can have one, too, for her home country. Well, I am sure the DIY hypermarket has it. But meanwhile its manufacture is (in most cases) not in Germany anymore but somewhere in Asia. You can see that from the price and the quality / painting style. If they are not too expansive I will maybe buy some as gift for the intercultural exchange in Turkey this September...