And so we met for the last time. Next week there are vacations and no classes anymore. But it is also the time of final exams, assignments and meetings with professors to discuss research paper topics.

Unfortunately I had to be in such a meeting and therefore missed the beginning of the final class. I tumbled into the middle of an exercise. I didn’t know either the task of the exercise or the topic of class. So I peeped at my neighbour’s. But I only could catch the headline: “Mediation”. We had already a lesson about it and I was not sure if it was the note sheet for this lesson. Without thinking more about it I asked about the task.

In groups of three people we got two sheets of paper with a short description of an intercultural conflict situation on each. I felt like the third wheel on the wagon in the group (well, actually I should say like the “forth” wheel because there were already three). The task in my group was solved already and I only had a short glance at the descriptions before the evaluation followed. Now, at home, I can look them up again in the ded-folder (p.41ff).

For example one of the descriptions was:

You are sitting in a restaurant for dinner. At the neighbour table you see how a boy, who is going from table to table, is getting the bones from another guest’s plate. Now he comes to you.

The task was to exchange spontaneous reactions if this would happen to someone in the group; then to discuss about as many reasons as possible for the behaviour of the other person (in this example the boy); and finally to speak about how you would react in this situation and solve the problem.

I decided to describe this example because it is the one where I would have the most problems with. The first thing which would make me feel uneasy is the confrontation of poor and rich. My first association to that picture is that the boy must be hungry and collects the bones hoping to find meat rests on them. Of course there are other possibilities. He might be a waiter who is only removing the leftovers from the plates of the guests. But my first thoughts are gliding into the poor-rich corner.

Second, what makes the situation even worse is that a child who has to beg or to work is involved. Something like this is not liked to be seen in Germany/Europe. Probably this has something to do with our “humanistic education” here, I wonder. In other cultures it might be normal for children to work and they wouldn’t even complain. Maybe everybody at the neighbour tables would give something to the child but for me it would be strange though. In some real-life situations I found that I have a strange way of “justice”-thinking (but I know that I am not the only European with that problem):

“If I help one, I have to help all; but I can not help all.” -> Conclusion: “So I help none.”

And this “conclusion” then is like a blockade. I wouldn’t give bones to the boy. On the other hand, the “group pressure” could have an effect on me too. Then I would give the bones to the boy because everybody does.

A girl in the course said the example reminds her on show cleaners. And I could pretty well empathize with her. In several countries children offer this service for little money (for us “little money”) but support their family with it. I never had my shoes cleaned because (like she said) I couldn’t accept the fact that a child is working for me.

But on the other side one shouldn’t think too much. First, maybe the native children wouldn’t expect tourists to understand this behaviour and wouldn’t expect to get bones from them anyway. Second, native residents don’t behave always the same way either. Although in other countries there are shoe cleaners and begging children, I have also seen natives sending them away. Probably one has to find the golden path oneself. It is normal to feel insecure at first but when dealing with poverty more often one would get a “feeling” for it (I hope).

I have not had many personal experiences with poverty and children so far. But one problem is that sometimes I feel scared. Or, in other words, I wonder how they see me: the big rich man from the West? I think the only way to find out is to talk with them. But this is not so easy. I am biased and also wonder if they are biased. A huge barrier has to be overcome, especially when being not familiar with how to communication with the other culture.

Another factor might be the age of the children. I don’t know if it is maybe easier to talk to smaller children. At least I don’t imply them ulterior thoughts but suppose everything is honest.

No matter how, it is always better to have somebody who is familiar with country and people around. Thus, contact to people can be established much easier and misunderstandings, misinterpretations or biases be avoided.